A Patina of Antique Filth

18 + Now, Thanks to EDO PERIOD TENTACLE PR0N!

2012-01-29T00:25:00.002-05:00

I've been wanting to post this for a really really really long time, but was afraid of the adult ramifications. IT'S ART for Christ's sake! Children need to learn these things... well, maybe not this thing. It still creeps me out a bit. Anyway... Presenting:

The Dream of a Fisherman's Wife

1814 bitches! HOKUSAI!

Sissy Man Blues

2012-01-28T02:59:00.001-05:00

"Lord, I woke up this mornin' withy my pork-grinding business in my hand.
Said I woke up this mornin', Pork-grinding business in my hand.
Lord, if you can't send me no woman, please send me some sissy man."

I'm sure we've all felt that way at one time or another... yes. Gotta love the 30s.

Thank you everlasting blort for pointing this out... and for everything really.

Vintage Paul Newman... again.

2012-01-26T01:10:00.003-05:00

That's how we win wars people. 'Nuff said.

Happy Birthday Paul Newman!

2012-01-26T01:00:00.006-05:00

Smokin' Hot! There is no bad picture of Paul Newman. It NEVER happened!

Totally Qualifies

2012-01-24T21:16:00.003-05:00

This is an image of the novel Moby Dick typed on toilet paper. Yes.

via The Everlasting Blort

In Memoriam

2012-01-20T23:19:00.002-05:00

Vintage Lucian... Freud?

2012-01-16T02:07:00.003-05:00

A Freud? Really? Wow.

'Nuff said.

via Nerd Boyfriend

Vintage Robert De Niro... again.

2012-01-16T01:54:00.003-05:00

Well what do you know?

'Nuff said.

via Nag On The Lake

Maybe it's just me...

2012-01-16T01:39:00.001-05:00

but I find this slightly filthy.

via The Everlasting Blort where all good things come from.

It's My Birthday And I'll Post What I Want To...

2012-01-08T03:02:00.003-05:00

You'd post this too if it happened to youuu...

You really don't need a reason to post videos of David Bowie. So, since it's my birthday:

Little David Bowie!

One for the New Year

2012-01-05T00:40:00.001-05:00

Oh Capra, my Capra!

Time for Another Fragonard

2011-06-02T22:22:00.002-04:00

Woooo! More Fragonard!

The Model's Debut

And more Rococo boobs! These babies look like they were carved from marble... you think he ever saw any boobs not carved from marble? Whatever, yay boobs!

In Memoriam

2011-06-02T22:12:00.002-04:00

via Neatorama

Happy Birthday Marilyn Monroe!

2011-06-01T11:26:00.004-04:00

Here is an interesting story about a letter she wrote to her doctor when she was committed in 1961... yeah. Classy though. Classy, classy, classy.

Baby Got Back

2011-05-27T23:17:00.006-04:00

Since the last post wasn't very antique:

Postcard c. 1900

You other brothers can't deny... etc.

via VintageGal

Ron Jeremy is Totally in This, I Promise.

2011-05-27T23:09:00.009-04:00

I admit this isn't exactly antique... but some of it is vintage. Anyway, in a few years the vintage stuff will be antique and the newer stuff will be vintage. Yes... so for your entertainment: Pornography without the actual pornography!

And it's a cute little song. ^_^

via Nag on the Lake

Vintage Douglas Adams

2011-05-25T14:44:00.002-04:00

Vintage Douglas Adams was kind of brilliantly hot.

'Nuff said.

Happy Towel Day!

2011-05-25T14:38:00.000-04:00

Don't forget your towel!

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T22:27:00.002-04:00

via retrogasm

Vintage Katharine Hepburn

2011-05-02T01:57:00.005-04:00

Vintage Katharine Hepburn was hot.

She could also shred it, apparently:

Anassa kata, bitches.

Art Whores No. 3

2011-04-30T22:14:00.002-04:00

Let's have a frank discussion about the "patronage" of ballet in the 19th Century:

L'etoile

Or we can just put quotations around the words "patronage" and let everybody draw their own conclusions. There's even a John in a tux in the background for Degas' sake!

Fragonard No. 4

2011-04-27T02:37:00.005-04:00

Woooo! Fragonard!

The Beautiful Servant

Ah yes... he so filthy!

Vintage Jayne Mansfield

2011-04-19T23:00:00.001-04:00

Vintage Jayne Mansfield was really hot.

And it's her birthday today! She also gave the world Mariska Hargitay so she's practically a saint, right? 'Nuff said.

via Retrogasm

In Memoriam

2011-04-19T21:36:00.002-04:00

Elvgren

2011-04-18T01:52:00.006-04:00

Nag on the Lake is awesome. She posts things like this:

These are photos of models used for the famous pinups of Elvgren. You can find more of this awesomeness here.

Vintage Robert Deniro

2011-04-14T00:30:00.003-04:00

Vintage Robert Deniro was kind of hot.

'Nuff said.

photo by Steve Schapiro

Shameless Plug

2011-04-13T01:35:00.004-04:00

Do you know any Undercover Mexicans?

An undercover Mexican is a person that is of Mexican heritage, but is generally considered ambiguously ethnic or white or anything else other than Mexican (perhaps Pakistani or Indian even). Anthony Quinn, James Roday, me, and the majority of my family are good examples.

If you do know any, and feel like sharing, please submit a picture and the back story of an undercover Mexican you might know and/or love (famous or not, we all brothers undercover) to my other blog "Undercover Mexicans". I'd prefer a picture of the undercover Mexican not looking Mexican AND looking pretty Mexican... check out the other blog if you want examples. You can also submit any other bizarre Mexican related things for shits and giggles to le.haricot@gmail.com as well. Just title your submission "Undercover Mexican." Thanks!

More Music

2011-04-12T02:36:00.001-04:00

It reminds me of those socialist workers murals in the 30s... and you can see their boobies.

I don't know what it is...

2011-04-10T01:18:00.002-04:00

but I think I like it.

via everlasting blort

In Memoriam

2011-03-23T19:22:00.001-04:00

photo via retrogasm

Vintage Colin Firth

2011-02-28T00:32:00.004-05:00

Vintage Colin Firth was very hot.

Colin Firth is also just very hot in general... yes.

Congratulations to Mr. Firth and The King's Speech! They've totally had my vote since at least 1936. 'Nuff said.

photo via Please Don't Touch The Cucumber Sandwiches

Vintage George Harrison

2011-02-25T18:07:00.003-05:00

Vintage George Harrison was hot.

And it's his birthday! 'Nuff said.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T00:08:00.002-05:00

Cocaine Blues

2011-02-08T23:50:00.003-05:00

Here's a little ditty you might have heard of:

It was originally recorded in 1947 by "Red" Arnal ("Red" is also the one who wrote it). Somewhere along the lines Johnny Cash got ahold of it so... you know... awesome.

Vintage Paul Newman

2011-02-04T01:30:00.001-05:00

Vintage Paul Newman was kind of h... the most attractive man ever!

'Nuff said.

Another Fragonard

2011-02-01T20:28:00.004-05:00

Wooooo! Even more rococo!

Young Woman Playing with Dog

I know, I know. This one is similar to the last Fragonard. I felt like the blog needed some color, and it's also just really cute! (equally as filthy too... look! Boobs!)

The King's Speech

2011-01-30T01:34:00.004-05:00

Back when I posted this I hadn't seen the The King's Speech yet. I didn't even know it was coming out! I just noticed the vintage hotness and decided it should be explicitly pointed out. Anyway, here is an actual speech from the king himself:

So hot. Go see the movie. It is now one of my absolute favorites.

via Nag on the Lake

Vintage Jane Fonda

2011-01-30T00:11:00.002-05:00

Vintage Jane Fonda...

'Nuff said.

Albert Arthur Allen

2011-01-28T00:37:00.006-05:00

Dude... there is no wikipedia page for this man! That makes me sad. There is a Salon.com article on him from 2001 though.

Basically he took a bunch of nudie pictures of flappers in the 20s. This is probably the only clothed photo he did, but it's my favorite so... no boobs today. Sorry.

Oh yeah! He was also arrested for mailing obscene things between states and is kind of a civil rights/ censorship martyr. Rock rock on.

photo via Vintage Ladies

A Prostitute from 1912

2011-01-21T19:31:00.006-05:00

A New Orleans prostitute to be exact:

View even more New Orleans prostitutes from 1912 here.

via vintagegal

Vintage Lew Wallace

2011-01-19T00:30:00.007-05:00

Neatorama just brought my attention to a tumblr spot called...

"Let's Get Jiggy with Civil War Dudes!"

This vintage hotness is known as Lewis "Lew" Wallace.

( You're right... I just want him for his beard.)

Bound to be some vintage hotness up in there. 'Nuff said.

Put the Blame on Mame

2011-01-19T00:07:00.000-05:00

According to Wikipedia, it was Gypsy Rose Lee's birthday on my birthday! IMDB says it's in February though... so I split the difference and waited as long as I could:

I even like this one better than Rita Hayworth's.

Adriaen Brouwer

2011-01-15T00:53:00.002-05:00

Woooo! 17th century Flanders!

The Bitter Tonic

Ok, it's not nearly as awesome as rococo, but Adriaen Brouwer did like to hang out in bars. Well... he liked to hang out in "ale houses." But now kids over there hang out in "coffee houses." Intoxicated debauchery as a commonality is the only point I'm trying to make here.

Vintage Stephen Hawking

2011-01-08T00:02:00.000-05:00

Vintage Stephen Hawking was kind of ADORABLE!

Next to the lovely Jane in 1965

Today is his birthday as well... and it is also mine. 'Nuff said.

Vintage Elvis

2011-01-08T00:01:00.001-05:00

Vintage Elvis was kind of hot.

It's his birthday today too... and did I mention it's mine? 'Nuff said.

Vintage Bowie

2011-01-08T00:00:00.001-05:00

Vintage Bowie was really hot.

It's also his birthday today... and mine. 'Nuff said.

via Nerd Boyfriend

Throw Your Bloomers and Boarding House Keys at This Man

2011-01-04T01:23:00.003-05:00

Rock.

via the eye of ladyhawk

Art Whores No. 2

2011-01-03T00:53:00.008-05:00

Here is another great painting about ladies of the night and other important artistic endeavors.

Olympia

Dig the cat on the right, yo. This one is brought to you by Èdouard Manet... and kind of Titian. And maybe even a little bit Goya.

Vintage Frank Zappa... Again

2011-01-02T00:09:00.004-05:00

Vintage Frank Zappa was kind of hotter than the last Vintage Frank Zappa I posted.

1959

'Nuff said.

Vintage Frank Zappa

2011-01-01T23:52:00.003-05:00

...was kind of hot.

And he says Happy Holidays. I mean New Years!

Happy Boxing Day!

2010-12-26T08:32:00.001-05:00

Wrestling is like boxing, non?

Vintage Tennessee Williams

2010-12-26T02:20:00.001-05:00

Vintage Tennessee Williams was kind of hot.

'Nuff said.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T00:00:00.003-05:00

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2010-12-21T00:03:00.003-05:00

Well, it's that time of year. So here it is:

This one is pretty good. All 1949-y with Red Skelton, but I really wanted to post the Louis Armstrong and Velma Middleton version. I can't find the whole thing online though (the link is only half of the song)... or even a clear version that isn't the "Mulato Beat Remix". Give it a listen if you can find it!

And speaking of Neptune's Daughter, I just have to say that Esther Williams as a phenomenon is awesome and super weird at the same time.

Vintage The Duke of Wellington

2010-12-19T00:17:00.004-05:00

Vintage The Duke of Wellington was kind of hot.

'Nuff said.

Antique Heroine

2010-12-18T00:39:00.004-05:00

Here is a rare funny Married To The Sea cartoon that I saved while ago. Don't get me wrong, they are hilarious sometimes, but not most of the time. Kind of like this blog. Yes.

Vintage Tesla

2010-12-17T01:20:00.004-05:00

Vintage Tesla was much hotter than Vintage Edison.

Don't believe me? Check it out. 'Nuff said.*

*Wellll... I'd also like to point out that this post is vaguely Christmas related because of incandescent light bulbs. Get it? No? Whatever. Just remember to unplug your Xmas lights when the tree gets dry because that bitch is a fire hazard.

Jean-Honoré Fragonard Again

2010-12-14T01:13:00.006-05:00

Wooooo! More Rococo!

La Gimblette

This one is pretty self explanatory too... or not. Oh Fragonard!

Vintage Prince Albert

2010-12-12T20:25:00.004-05:00

Vintage Prince Albert was kind of hot.

He's also why we have Christmas trees... that's pretty hot as well. 'Nuff said.

Vintage Ludwig II

2010-12-09T18:53:00.003-05:00

Vintage Ludwig II was kind of... crazy.

He was kind of hot too. 'Nuff said.

I Missed Krampus

2010-12-06T17:32:00.009-05:00

It was yesterday. Merry Belated Krampus!

Though technically we still have a few more days of Krampus. So watch out!

via Monster Brains

Highly Patented

2010-12-06T02:51:00.010-05:00

Oh, those roaring twenties!

Gin soaked, full of repartee and innuendo... much like grandma's last Sunday brunch.

via retrogasm

Vintage Bill Murray

2010-12-03T14:17:00.003-05:00

Vintage Bill Murray was kind of hot.

'Nuff said.

I'm pretty sure this came via nerdboyfriend, but I have no idea how it got cropped as my technical skills are somewhat dodgy and I like John Candy.

Art Whores

2010-12-01T00:00:00.003-05:00

Some art is more than STDs and ladies of the night. Some art is not.

Les Demoiselles d'Avignon

I was going to post this later, but, once again, world events prompted an expedited art themed post. Check it out:

Cute Old French Couple Has $80 million Worth of Picassos in Their Attic.

via Nag on the Lake

A Lady of Letters

2010-11-29T10:55:00.006-05:00

from Stage Door Canteen, 1943

Gypsy Rose Lee is much more entertaining than Natalie Wood.

Vintage Eisenhower

2010-11-27T22:31:00.004-05:00

Vintage Eisenhower was kind of hot.

1916

'Nuff said.

Vintage Henri III

2010-11-26T18:55:00.002-05:00

Vintage Henri III was kind of hot.

1570

'Nuff said.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T00:07:00.003-05:00

Vintage Jack Nicholson

2010-11-24T01:02:00.002-05:00

Vintage Jack Nicholson was kind of hot.

'Nuff said.

The End of an Era

2010-11-23T01:00:00.012-05:00

The time-honoured practice of wearing nothing beneath the kilt has been condemned by an organization dedicated to upholding Scottish traditions.

via Neatorama

My Ding-A-Ling

2010-11-22T13:15:00.004-05:00

Chuck Berry... some might say at his best. You might not have known he was an early proponent of gay rights otherwise. I also like how this is the UK version.

Vintage George VI

2010-11-21T02:57:00.002-05:00

Vintage George VI was kind of hot.

'Nuff said.

Vintage Anjelica Huston

2010-11-19T21:24:00.004-05:00

Vintage Anjelica Huston was kind of hot.

She's still kind of hot. 'Nuff said.

K.231 in B-flat Major

2010-11-17T00:47:00.006-05:00

I named this post "K.231 in B-flat Major" because I thought Lech mich im Arsch might be a bit rude as a title... even if it is in German*. But then you might have already heard of this lovely little canon by Mozart:

Sorry it's cut short, but it was the only version I could find that was sung by a decent sounding choir as a canon.

And just for my amusement, here is an... um... inventive rendition of K.233 in B-flat Major, Leck mir den Arsch fein recht schön sauber:

(skip to 1:11 to avoid the awkward solo and hear the three voice part)

Scholars believe that K.233 might not actually be Mozart's music. We're pretty sure that he wrote the lyrics though, and these are some filthy lyrics.

*But for some reason I think obscenities in Latin are visually acceptable.

Notice My Flowers

2010-11-16T03:30:00.007-05:00

Music, Pink and Blue II, 1919

... when you took time to really notice my flowers you hung all your own associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see of the flower - and I don't.

- Georgia O'Keeffe, 1943

Riiiight.

Anyway, I was going to post this picture yesterday, but then I found that ancient graffiti and decided to delay the art lesson. THEN I found out that yesterday was actually Georgia O'Keeffe's B-Day. So... happy belated Georgia! It's been weird!

Vintage Steve Buscemi

2010-11-16T02:44:00.004-05:00

Vintage Steve Buscemi was kind of hot...

in that John Waters kind of way. 'Nuff said.

FVTVTA SVM HIC

2010-11-15T00:22:00.006-05:00

Graffiti from the Lupanar in Pompeii

Where my Latin scholars at?

Vintage John Waters

2010-11-14T02:55:00.003-05:00

Vintage John Waters was kind of hot...

in that Steve Buscemi kind of way. 'Nuff said.

Vital Statistics

2010-11-12T21:37:00.001-05:00

Dig the graphics.

via Nag on the Lake

Vintage Trotsky

2010-11-12T02:09:00.004-05:00

Vintage Trotsky* was kinda hot.

1905

No? Just me and Frida then? Right. 'Nuff said.

* The hotness of Vintage Trotsky in no way reflects the political views of this blogger.

Le mépris (1963)

2010-11-11T01:00:00.014-05:00

Très cool, non? From If we don't, remember me.

via The Presurfer

"I'm A Dirty Old Man..."

2010-11-10T16:24:00.006-05:00

Oh, that Tom Jones. All sweaty and Welsh. Love him.

Vintage Schubert

2010-11-07T23:39:00.003-05:00

Vintage Schubert was kind of hot.

'Nuff said.

Oh Bosch!

2010-11-06T14:35:00.001-04:00

Oh Hieronymus!

A very small portion of The Garden of Earthly Delights

Did you know that 16th century depictions of cherries in art represent pride? I can't find any reference from art history as to what people having sex in a giant oyster means though...

Vintage McCain

2010-11-03T14:50:00.001-04:00

The hotness of Vintage McCain in no way reflects the political views of this blogger.

'Nuff said.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T23:51:00.003-04:00

Vintage Cary Elwes

2010-10-29T01:37:00.001-04:00

Vintage Cary Elwes was kinda... well, he was really hot.

'Nuff said.

Stone Cold Dead in the Market

2010-10-27T19:37:00.001-04:00

I was going to post a Betty Boop Halloween cartoon, but this was... better.

Vintage Anthony Perkins

2010-10-26T23:40:00.001-04:00

Vintage Anthony Perkins was kinda hot.

via FilmFanatic.org

'Nuff said.

Vintage Josephine Baker

2010-10-24T01:03:00.001-04:00

Vintage Josephine Baker was kind of hot.

Thought I was gonna use this picture, didn't ya?

J'ai deux amours. 'Nuff said.

Vintage David McCallum

2010-10-20T22:10:00.000-04:00

Vintage David McCallum...

via Fuck Yeah British Men

as so greatly inspired young Sally Draper. 'Nuff said.

Teaserama

2010-10-15T23:55:00.003-04:00

I've been trying to cut my hair this way for months now. It just don't suit me like it suit Bettie:

That's also exactly how I dance if I don't go to bed right away after taking my ambien.

Vintage Beethoven

2010-10-14T18:44:00.001-04:00

... was kind of hot.

1801

'Nuff said.

Jean-Honoré Fragonard

2010-10-11T19:35:00.001-04:00

Wooooooo! Rococo!

The Swing

I think it's pretty self explanatory.*

* Back in the day they didn't wear underwear.

Vintage Bryan Ferry

2010-10-07T19:07:00.000-04:00

Vintage Bryan Ferry is kind of h... AWESOME!

Bryan Ferry is perpetually vintage though. This one does him more justice:

Don't stop the dance. 'Nuff said.

Hot Time in the Old Town Toniiiiiiight!

2010-10-01T03:42:00.001-04:00

Eugène Atget (French, 1857-1927)

Boulevard de Strasbourg 1912

Bon Marche 1926-27

Tuileries - L'Aurore (Magnier) (1e arr) 1907

I saw this on flickr and then watched it make it's way through a couple of blogs I frequent so I thought I should join in. It is right up my alley anyway. So here is the link for your convenience.

Vintage Ruth Gordon

2010-09-30T03:04:00.000-04:00

Also kind of hot.

circa 1919

You might recognize her better like this:

circa 1971

'Nuff said.

Computer Critters

2010-09-28T00:52:00.001-04:00

via tumblerownpau

I want to make a comment on the filthiness of anthropomorphized animals in general, but the British-ish alligator is just too awesome.

Vintage Aykroyd

2010-09-25T01:26:00.000-04:00

Vintage Aykroyd was kind of hot.

via Fuck Yeah Dan Aykroyd

'Nuff said.

Because I have nothing better to do...

2010-09-23T00:08:00.001-04:00

James Mason with a cat.

H.P. Lovecraft with a cat.

Louis-Ferdinand Céline with a cat.

via almost famous cats